(polished draft of something I have posted before)

Round, big, rubenesque, voluptuous, curvy, big boned, plus sized, thick, portly, corpulent, heavy, hefty, plump, large, roly-poly, wide. They’re all just “nice” ways of saying the same thing, fat.

I’ve never been thin. It’s not in my genes. Short and stout generations of German farmers have left members of looking more like Hobbits then the media-ideal likes of Elves. Regardless, most of my pre-teen and early teen years were spent running endless laps around the block, cutting portions, and trying to look like the popular girls. Teasing at school, pressure from my family, and lack of control over my weight, despite all that I did resulted as it unfortunately does in most cases like my own, total self-loathing and depression. By the time I was sixteen I had resigned myself to a life of disordered eating and baggy, ugly clothing I thought was mandatory for fat girls. After a couple very unhappy years, I happened to stumble upon a whole new world of body politics.

Like most of my generation, I spent a large portion of my time on the internet, blogging recycled emo-pop lyrics and pictures of kittens. Somewhere in the midst of this fuzzy, pop-punk period, I found my first “fatshionista.” A fatshionista is a plus sized person (gender is and optional up to said person) who breaks the typical fashion mold for people of their plus-size range. I saw chubby thighs in mini-skirts atop of long, thick muscled, Amazonian legs ending in wide width pumps. I saw bare bulging bellies in crop tops, adorned with tattoos, piercings, and pride. I saw full busts proudly displayed instead of tempered with high collared shirts, minimizer bras, and shame. I was absolutely appalled and disgusted. How dare these fat people like themselves. My stomach looks like hers, and I can’t wear something like that. How dare they take pride in their bodies. They are just promoting bad lifestyles and unhealthy behavior!

Still, I followed these people. I saturated myself with these blogs, personalities, and lifestyles. I didn’t realize at the time my hate was founded in jealousy, and my subconscious was screaming at the top of its metaphorical lungs for salvation in these free spirited fatties. These individuals, despite all my expectations, were not eating pints of ice cream with every meal and sitting on their couches all day. They were yoga swamis, marathon runners, bicycle racers, and dancers. These bodies were healthy, even if they were jiggly, round, and soft. They were fabulous, confident, and happy. For the first time in my life I pushed aside my anger towards my fat body and listened to these leaders of the body revolution. For the first time in my life I looked in the mirror and found something to like about myself.

The most common misconception about weight is that fat equals unhealthy, and skinny equals healthy. The ironically named Linda Bacon, the author of the book Health at Every Size, debunks that and similar myths. She also started the Health at Every Size movement, a pledge to promote body positivity and stop size discrimination. Bacon explains how every body has its own unique natural body weight range. Some people at their healthiest are thicker or thinner than what is seen as average. In fat-activist Hanne Blank’s book The Unapologetic Fat Girls Guide to Exercise and Other Incendiary Acts, she explains diet and exercise are important, but things like flat stomachs are not about how many crunches you do, but about your body’s natural pre-disposition towards having a flat stomach. Both women also explain how genetics really is a reason, but not an excuse. For example, I have Poly-Cystic Ovarian Syndrome, and a side effect of that is that most of my weight is carried specifically in my stomach to protect my internal organs. So I may have a round tummy, and a reason beyond genetics for my pudge, but not an excuse to be unhealthy. People like these helped to show me that being shapely does not mean out of shape, and that no matter your body type honoring it with good diet and exercise will not only bring you physical health, but mental health as well.

Confidence is key no matter what situation you’re in, and for a lot of people the right outfit can really take confidence the extra mile. When you’re outside of the “straight size” range (sizes 2-12) or the more “appealing” plus size range (sizes 14-20. USA’s national dress size average is a size 14) finding fashionable clothes becomes more like triathlon than a walk in the park. Finding things that are more than just baggy, shapeless moomoo dresses, and ill fitting elastic band pants becomes a real challenge. Here I was looking at all these dashing and daring fatties in clothes I never dreamed of wearing. One woman wore a simple cropped t-shirt that read “Fuck Flattering.” Between Tim Gunn’s eternal wisdom, drag queen superstars,  and a host of knowledgeable fatshionistas I learned the only way you’re ever going to truly find your style is to push your own boundaries. I slowly traded jeans and baggy hoodies for skirts and dresses. At first it was like being in a country where you don’t speak the language, awkward and uncomfortable. But for once I felt pretty, I felt sexy. Soon my skirts got shorter, my smile got brighter, and my hips swung with confidence. It’s still not easy to find clothes. Sizes change between brands, more fabric for bigger clothes drives up prices, and a lot to designers still refuse to include plus sized lines. Being a fatshionista means becoming a fashion McGyver. It means thrifting, altering, fashion tape, safety pins, and wearing nice underwear in case you accidentally flash private business. It means knowing the difference between “wrong size” and “wrong fit.” And most of all it means pushing boundaries, yours and everyone else’s.

We live in a world where our own bodies are political tools, and policing someone’s body and the choices they make with it are unfortunately the norm. Bodies are political, constant wars on women’s reproductive rights have turned sex lives and personal choices into highly publicized fodder. The Japanese government, in order to “promote health” have recently made a law about waistsize measurements, if you’re over the legal limit you’ll be fined. Recently a plus-sized clothing and lingerie store, Lane Bryant had a commercial forcibly pulled off the air featuring curvaceous model Ashely Graham because she was “too risqué,” despite other commercials for places like Victoria’s Secret and TV shows on the same network having models bearing just as much or even more. Shows like “Biggest Loser” are mocking overweight people and showing disordered eating and bullying because of weight in a positive light.  I have learned that loving my fat body is a political statement because I’m refusing to bow to the ideals of a misguided nation. Being proud of something most people hate is a radical idea. I’ve had little old ladies tell me that I don’t have the “right” type of body for the clothes I’m wearing. Men and women have judged me and made insults towards me based on my weight. My grandmother recently tried to bribe me to lose weight after telling me I was too fat to be worthy of my boyfriend. It doesn’t extend just to fat bodies. Thin people are also constantly assaulted with “They must have an eating disorder/tape worm/drug problem, or how else would they be so thin?” And in a society where there’s no real clear definition of what is too thin or too fat or just right people of all shapes and sizes are made to feel insecure and unworthy. Not just women are subject to this, men are constantly told they must be stronger, fitter, have more hair in the right places and less in the “wrong” places. Being happy and healthy shouldn’t be something we have to fight for or about. Every time I put on a short skirt or frosting-bright lipstick I’m making a statement about who I am, and why I am worthy. My fat body is worthy of love, of fashion, and of happiness. Every body, thin, fat, short, tall, non-gendered, male, female, black, white, freckled, or whatever is worthy of love, respect, and happiess and we need to make that a standard statement instead of hate.

hannahisdead:

hannahhisawriter:

If you go to a magazine rack at your local store there is one theme in common: weight and weight-loss. The TV is the same, and so are most online popular news outlets. We are assaulted with negative body comments 24/7 in our forever-connected world.This doesn’t just extend to women either, men are constantly being told to be more thin and muscular.

This cultural obsession has created some seriously disturbing results. According to a 2005 study by NeumarkSztanier, over 50% of teen girls, and 33% of teen boys use unhealthy behaviors to control weight such as fasting or using harmful weightloss drugs. Another study done in 1995 by Shisslak and Crago reported that 35% of “normal dieters” become pathologically and harmfully obsessed with dieting. The internet has only added fuel to the fire. There are “thinspiration” websites that promote eating disorders, constant weight-loss schemes, and recently in the media: online bullying. Both anonymous and known users taking to the internet to bully a person, unfortunately sometimes ending in suicide of the victim. But there is a whole other side to weight ideals online.

The body positivity and fat acceptance movements are blooming under the surface of the internet. When most people hear “fat acceptance” they assume it encourages an unhealthy life style, but it’s the exact opposite. It promotes healthy lifestyles and discourages fatphobic thinking like judging people because of their weight, or fat shaming, and encourages acceptance of your body. Though there are many places to find body positivism blogs on platforms like Tumblr, Blogger, and WordPress, the general summary of these blogs has been culminated into one website and one cause: Health At Every Size. HAES urges you to “respect the diversity of the human body,” no matter your body type. It provides online resources to further your body positivism education and teach you to love your body for what it is. It also debunks the popular myth that fat equals unhealthy. HAES is just starting out, but with over 4,000 pledges it’s growing fast. Linda Bacon, the women who started the site also wrote the popular book Health at Every Size: The Surprising Truth About Your Weight. Her intent is to strengthen the HAES movement and spread body positivism.

You can learn more at haescommunity.org

full post from the previously posted rebuttal. I wrote it for my university newspaper to promote body positivity on campus. 

Normally I do not reply to negative responses as I usually deem them asinine, but that needed a response.

I like my tits.

I think they’re great-looking, and sort of wasted being seen by only two people in the world. It’s like if Christina Aguilera only sang in the shower, or Jesus had just lay around riffing with his hooker friends all the time.

If it weren’t for my boyfriend’s silly but strongly held conviction that only he’s supposed to see me naked, my Google Image search would be way less safe for work. I have to constantly remind myself that Tweeting topless pictures would be inappropriate.

Which is why this gross story about gross human Hunter Moore who makes his gross living by grossly running a “revenge porn” site is of particular interest to me. “Revenge porn” means naked cell-phone photos submitted by angry exes and assorted trolls posted online with identifying information including full name and Facebook page. And of course, the obligatory angry rant about what a skanky hobag or lame jerkoff said nude person is.

The Internet reaction has been pretty unanimous: “Don’t let anyone take naked pictures of you ever.” This goes along with the message that Moore says he intends to teach with his website, which is “If you don’t take nudes, you won’t have a problem.”

But are naked pictures really the issue?

I mean, in general, I’m sort of a nudity, so what? sort of gal. I make a habit to change clothes in front of each new employee of xoJane within their first week just to set that important “You must look at me naked” boundary. It’s practically an intern rite-of-passage. I use the communal changing room. I always sort of snicker to myself when I’m getting a massage and the masseuse goes to great lengths to tuck the blanket carefully around each limb before uncovering the next.

And it’s not cause it looks so amazing, either. Somebody recently told me I was lucky to get a baby without wrecking my body and I was like hahahhhahah this thing’s been a junk show for years. But I’m just not that fazed by displaying my stretch marks, loose skin and back fat. My naked body has been enjoyed by enough people that I’m confident in its status as like, a normal human form, not some sort of alien monster thing that’s going to cause people to panic.

And in my illustrious pre-fiance career, I have let a lot of people photograph me naked. Don’t get me wrong, I do not want those pictures surfacing on Moore’s website. But it’s not cause there’s anything wrong with the photos themselves, or because I regret having taken them.

No, the reason I don’t want them surfacing is stigma. That, and Moore and co’s misogynstic attitude toward women’s bodies. The site’s FAQ describes a “gnargoyle” “a disgusting female who’s had the misfortune of getting her n00dz posted … for the internet world to see and criticize. Typically gnargoyles are overweight and are, but not limited to, hairy, ugly, and tattoed, with sloppy vaginas. These beasts have the grave misconception that someone would actually want to see them naked.”

(What’s a sloppy vagina, anyway? Does it leave crumbs in the bed and a coffee ring on the kitchen counter?)

Whether or not you think there’s anything so horrible about say, having herpes, or being a stripper or sending nude photographs to your boyfriend, stigma makes you behave as if you are ashamed of those things. And since the only way to decrease stigma is to come clean about your stigmatized behavior and face the social consequences, it perpetuates itself.

Some people who are touting the “Don’t take naked pictures of yourself ever” party line are just recognizing that the stigma currently exists. Fair enough, although I don’t quite think it’s fair to put all the responsbility on women to protect themselves from cruel and exploitative use of their images. But from others, such as Moore himself, I detect a creeping note of “You reap what you sow.” I don’t think that the existence of a naked photograph gives anyone carte blanche to rob the subject of their agency by recontextualizing the photo and using it to ridicule and humiliate.

And ultimately, I don’t think “Stop taking nude photographs of yourself” is the most enlightened response to a site that exists in order to shame people for the crime of being naked in a picture. Ideally, I’d rather destigmatize naked pictures. And nudity itself, for that matter.

It’s just parts, after all. Just a body, just sexuality that technology has given us new ways to share with one another. And what’s more shameful, really? Showing your tits? Or being a dick?